Fallout Equestria: Operation Flankorage

[Kashin]

Chapter Nine will be late, official apology/preview doc is with the chapters.

[Kashin]

Actually updated now, giving it two days for peer review this time

[Adder1]

Review tiiiiiiiiime!

Oh. So that's where that tuxedo went from the Hobo of Generosity thing. *rolls eyes, chuckling* Anyways, we got a little fleshing out of Flight as a character and a bit more info on the world you've created. Ladies of Blood and Flame. Yeah... I can totally tell this isn't going to be a pain to Ocher and Co. later on. >.>

House-sized, mutated buzzards? Cannondy Canes? Jeez. You're trying to compete with Somber for over-the-topness, aren't you?

Oh wow. BARON imitating the King. Gotta wonder how he feels doing that...

Flankorage at last, and we get to see the wonderful political life. Which... isn't too far off from our own world. Boooooo. Well, at least there MIGHT be some aid offered. Oh, who am I kidding? This is the Wasteland. Doubtful. I was rather intrigued by Ocher's Speech prowess though. Interesting, given he's worked in a virtual store for most of his life.

A wild HOBOPONY appeared! With... the ability to see alter-egos... interesting. Aaaaand Icy Voice is back. Yaaaaaaaay~

Yep. Had to see that coming. By a looooooong shot. Pfft, Ocher, you silly pony and your silly attempts to keep your mind off of things.

Well, it was a nice chapter. Nice little blend of action with dialogue with development with comedy with filler. The descriptions are starting to get a little better overall, and your interior descriptions are still pretty damn good. There were a few oopsies with words, though, such as "dieing" instead of "dying" (forget where that was...) and using "frigged" instead of "frigid" (when Icy came back). Nothing too distracting, though. Keep it up, Kashin. Keep up the good work. ^^

Yeah, totally saw the ending scene happening by a long shot. It was oooonly a matter of time...

[The Jack]

Oh my. Cannondy Cane.
Oh. My.

That is EXACTLY what I would have imagined Pinkie naming a weapon :3 xD

"One building towered over the others, topped with a horizontal, eight spoked wheel, five of which connected to armored zeppelins."
Is it just me that got a flashback to Warcraft 3 Slaughterhouses with that?

“We hold the line against the savage, the mutant, the zebra!”
Burn the heretic! Kill the mutant! Purge the unclean!
Damnit Kashin, now I'm going to think of the Frostborn as Space Marines -.- xD

huh! I wonder what all the non-pony races are in the courtroom. I would've understood griffins, zebras, zonys... but what's the deal with the huge ones?

Hah! Everyone gets a case of the gutterbrains now and then xD
Also, I'm totally stealing that word. Might be handy one day.

*Chuckle* He managed to gutterbrain maths... Good work Scoop! xD
Also, very clever choice of numbers :3 Did you do that on purpose, making the numbers close to something including 69?

Bwahahaha xD Flufficus Pufficus! Hobo! Sweet Luna, this is priceless xD
"FLuffius Maximus"! xD

"That friendly homeless guy"
I see what you did there. You're not very subtle, are you? xD Lovely inclusion though xD

Oh lawd. Full body bedhead xD
This whole fluffy thing Ocher has going is lovely comedy xD

Also, in regards to the last part;
http://mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img ... 247270.jpg

[otherunicorn]

*Chuckle* He managed to gutterbrain maths... Good work Scoop! xD
Also, very clever choice of numbers :3 Did you do that on purpose, making the numbers close to something including 69?

That evolved over a few passes with the proof readers, and yes, the choice of number is quite intentional.

[Kashin]

First off, sorry for taking so long, been hectic lately.
Update BTW

Oh. So that's where that tuxedo went from the Hobo of Generosity thing. *rolls eyes, chuckling* Anyways, we got a little fleshing out of Flight as a character and a bit more info on the world you've created. Ladies of Blood and Flame. Yeah... I can totally tell this isn't going to be a pain to Ocher and Co. later on. >.>

<.<
>.>
no, not important at all

House-sized, mutated buzzards? Cannondy Canes? Jeez. You're trying to compete with Somber for over-the-topness, aren't you?

Why must you hurt me so? Yeah, the Buzzard was on the large size, but that is what happens to the encounter tables when a level 20 joins the party.

Oh wow. BARON imitating the King. Gotta wonder how he feels doing that...

"I'm Here to buck flank and and chew bubblegum and I'm all out of gum."

Flankorage at last, and we get to see the wonderful political life. Which... isn't too far off from our own world. Boooooo. Well, at least there MIGHT be some aid offered. Oh, who am I kidding? This is the Wasteland. Doubtful. I was rather intrigued by Ocher's Speech prowess though. Interesting, given he's worked in a virtual store for most of his life.

most of that comes from playing guile games with Primrose for most of his life.

Well, it was a nice chapter. Nice little blend of action with dialogue with development with comedy with filler. The descriptions are starting to get a little better overall, and your interior descriptions are still pretty damn good. There were a few oopsies with words, though, such as "dieing" instead of "dying" (forget where that was...) and using "frigged" instead of "frigid" (when Icy came back). Nothing too distracting, though. Keep it up, Kashin. Keep up the good work. ^^

thanks, fixed (still working on my descriptions of outside, but there is only so much I can do with "it was cold and full or trees"; they will get more interesting as he finds new areas).

"One building towered over the others, topped with a horizontal, eight spoked wheel, five of which connected to armored zeppelins."
Is it just me that got a flashback to Warcraft 3 Slaughterhouses with that?

I was going more for the space needle mixed with the CN tower, but I can visualize the resemblance.

“We hold the line against the savage, the mutant, the zebra!”
Burn the heretic! Kill the mutant! Purge the unclean!
Damnit Kashin, now I'm going to think of the Frostborn as Space Marines -.- xD

We are the spehss mareins! WE ARE THE PRINCESSES' FUREH!

huh! I wonder what all the non-pony races are in the courtroom. I would've understood griffins, zebras, zonys... but what's the deal with the huge ones?

You will see.

Hah! Everyone gets a case of the gutterbrains now and then xD
Also, I'm totally stealing that word. Might be handy one day.

My words, why must you keep taking them?

*Chuckle* He managed to gutterbrain maths... Good work Scoop! xD
Also, very clever choice of numbers :3 Did you do that on purpose, making the numbers close to something including 69?

As OU said, yes it was thanks to his suggestion.

"That friendly homeless guy"
I see what you did there. You're not very subtle, are you? xD Lovely inclusion though xD

Subtlety is a .50 caliber rifle right? yeah, I give my cameos plot reasons.

Also, in regards to the last part;
http://mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img ... 247270.jpg

Daws have been achieved, my life is complete.

[No One]

Subtly is a .50 caliber rifle right? yeah, I give my cameos plot reasons.

Subtlety*

The correct spelling is vital to the joke.

[Kashin]

derp, fixed

[Adder1]

I'm starting to get sick, I've had a whole lecture since I read it, but I'm going to get this review down. Probably gonna be lots less consolidated than usual.

lawl, Ocher and romance. Soooo awkward. And nice, bringing in the chimicherrychangas. The meeting with R.F.P. was... a lot shorter than I expected. *shrugs* Oh well. Probably more later, or at least I hope there's more.

Wow. That... talk with Red Eye. I'm reminded again why I hate the bastard, but at the same time, I can only draw a parallel between him and Ocher. The cybernetic eye, the rhetorical skill... yeah, let's see where that's going. Oh, of course he uses a fake recording. Of course only Ocher and possibly Maple (and apparently Echo) can tell.

Yeah, that went as expected. Booooo, politics!

Of course the CEP wants to help. Hooray! Illegal actions that could get them hanged in reprimand for the greater gooooooood!

Beam RCW? Beam RCW. Beam RCW! Awesome, you're using it too! \o/ I was debating on whether to call it Beam or Energy RCW though... the Arcane Charge Packs are a nice touch, though.

Rocksalt. Is it bad that I completely forgot who this guy is?

You're getting better at the outdoor descriptions, what with how the occupants of Flankorage turned the Ministry hubs into little communities of their own. Props to you. Spelling, grammar? Can't really fault you for it since I made a shitload of 'em in my most recent chapters myself.

Anyways, keep it up. Now let's see where this goes.

Bloodthirsty demon Ocher... OOOOOoooooOOOOOOoooooooo...

You can totally tell I'm sick, can't you?

[The Jack]

I totally forgot this chapter existed :3 I don't even remember how I found it again xD

At any rate, this was a really nice chapter :3 Scoop being a troll-fillyfriend is hilarious xD

And... Who is Rocksalt? Should we know him?