Anywhere But Here

                 Double Tap's pony

                 

                 Best robot companion ever.

                 

                 Dash Magic Card

                 As you know, the biggest clanker-vendor slash mech-mechanic in the Wastes is a giraffe named Annabelle

                 My dad, Bargain Bin, was a traveling merchant in the wastes.

                 And then he asked us to get naked. So it wasn’t all bad.

                 The only true love is the kind where the object of your affection is completely out of your reach.

                 Tap just doesn’t appreciate my writing genius! Do you even know how many followers my fanfics have!?

                 Rita and Tap pedicure

                 No.

                 F**k You Kids!

                 Tap and Rita

                 There are no winners in snowball fights, only casualties. $@!% you, I won!

                 In the end, we flipped a coin. Heads for heads and tails for tail-still-attached. 

                 It took me forever to convince him to actually give the cat back.

                 Ah, I love fond memories. Too bad, this isn’t one of those.

                 Hey, at least I know my friends really like me. Because I programmed them to!

                 FO:E Anywhere but Here

                 I couldn’t see out of that eye for a week.  Though on the plus side, I look sexy with an eye patch. Don’t you think?

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