Fallout Equestria: Operation Flankorage

[Kashin]

Just got a few comments on FMI fiction and must gush about them as my ego is overflowing.
Tutis75
"Well, I keep seeing you pop up all over the Internet. Comments on Equestria Daily, a Christmas project involving Wasteland Heroes, even forums. So I finally cracked, and checked out your story. It was pretty good, especially comparing it to all the FO:E side stories I've read. There were a few spelling errors (Deadpan is one word) but it didn't stop me from enjoying it. The Stable has an interesting history which I'm looking forward to seeing what happened to it. The characters... It was a good introduction to them, but I can't relate to them yet. Ochre is taking things... pretty calmly. All things considered. And he's pretty quick to believe that his entire life was fake. But maybe he's just very believing, and it's just a character trait. I'm sure as the story continues I'll understand him... It's him, right? I'm not sure if the gender was ever mentioned. What else to say... Oh, if you wanna make it big in the Fallout Equestria universe, I have one tip for ya. WRITE. A. LOT. From what I've seen, if you can make it long, you'll probably get your own post on Fallout Equestria. Good luck! In conclusion, it's a good start, I'm sure it'll get better as you find your style of writing this story, and I'll be watching."

Dozy Dreamer
"This is a brilliant fic - so much so, I'm actually thinking about considering it canon FO:E work. Obviously, I can't really decide on that until you put some more out for me to read, but I'm sure you won't have too much trouble with that, right?
_And_ (although I probably should have realised this at some point before now, even with being sicker than a dog), you have a stallion... colt... ugh _male_ mane character! See! _See_! Colts _can_ do anything mares can do (and just as well, too)!
*Ahem* Sorry, but it is refreshing to read a well written male mane character fic.
I do have a question though - you say that the mover pony _built his own Stable_? Ignoring all the difficulties associated with building an effective fallout shelter, why would Derpy not... Oh, right, immediately after the bombs radiation would have killed anyone inside if it were opened - and he probably killed himself before it was safe to open up.... Damn it, here I thought I'd managed to find an FO:E fic that _wasn't_ massively depressing.
Anyway's, I'm rambling a tiny bit now, so I'll end by stating my feelings on all the best FO:E fics - I both anticipate, and fear, your next chapter greatly. "

This is along the lines of Kkat's "I love this. You drew them beautifully. So happy." comment on Pip/Homage
*squees like a little girl*

[Rippedshadow]

Dang son. While I'm over here slowly writing and proofreading, you went off and got fans already? Where's my sad biscuit, I need to poke it again.

*slapped*
Anywhoo, congratulations.

[The Jack]

About the opening authors note at the start of chapter one...
Dude. Five days for both stories? You're crazy. Not even I can read that fast, and I'm the quickest reader I know of. xD

Running commentary mode, ACTIVTED! xD

I was about to comment that including glitches and stuff into the story was a horrible choice, but then I read on and figured that it was infact a brilliant choice. I see what you did there, and I love it. xD

[Imperiumofman]

This setting provides a unique swath of challenges and problems for our protagonists. I like that a lot. A touching moment with the delivery pony and his employees, one of my favorite bits in fallout was discovering left over memories of a lost world. Why not have bullion own a dog back in the simulation if you want to peg him as a dog lover? Show don't tell. First rule of writing. Sweet Christ, how high are maple's endurance and strength stats? Second chapter does not start with a free replaced leg and an intelligence implant, better pacing then most Fallout Equestria fics I've seen so far. Our mane unicorn can actually cast spells then? Good way to differentiate him from Littlepip and Blackjack. Don't worry bullion, we all stumble during our first time outside a stable/vault.


I'm looking forward to more, and hoping that maple gets some character development soon.

[The Jack]

"The Grim Harvest"?
Ah, damn. Unique SMG at the start pretty much guarantees that you'll be using that as the characters main weapon.
There goes my originality by having my own characters main weapon be an SMG xD
Well, atleast I thought of it before reading this story... xD

Is you 10mm or 9mm?

EDIT: Oooh, the gun got taken away. Maybe it's hope for my originality after all. xD

In general, very enjoyable first chapter. If the next chapters keep the same standard, I'll probably be adding this to my headcanon xD
Also, it hammers home that I really really should play NV before I start writing. I have no clue what a companion perk is, except that I'm pretty sure it exists in NV.
Also, "New Spell added" was really nice, and I'll be stealing it kthxbay. xD

The only problem I have is the general annoyance that you use the american units instead of the standard metric ones; for example feet (or "hooves" as it were) and something that must be Fahrenheit. 82 degrees would be closer to boiling than freezing in Celcius xD
But again, that annoys me whenever anyone uses it xD Mostly because I can't figure out what degrees in celcius you're talking about. I presume 82 degrees is cold?

Starting on, and commenting on, chapter 2 now.

"Recommended price: 3800 bits.
'MIIIIIINE!' " xD

Also, I must comment that Ochre went insane much quicker than anyone else I have read about. "Insane" as in having voices in his head.

....
Telekinetically squeezing the griffins heart? Damn man, that's nasty. xD

On a sidenote, I actually had to google what "Everclear" was. And yeah, that disinfecting is going to suck xD But atleast it'll be very very efficient. And you can take a swig to dull the pain afterwards. xD

Also, points for knowing that evaporation (even alcohol) cools you down. Surprisingly few people I've met (and somehow talked about this subject) know that.

Wait, WHAT? A quarter of a bottle of 90% in one go?
Shit man, that's quite the stomach of steel. Much MUCH hardier than my own, that's for sure. xD

Nice ending scene, that's for sure xD
This is currently labeled as "Rank 4 headcanon" for the moment, which is the lowest headcanon I have. But still above anything noncanon, eh?
Besides, if this goes on long enough (with no drop in quality) it might jump up a rank to Rank 3, which is equal to Pink Eyes. =D

Now there is just one problem. More? xD

[Kashin]

Why not have bullion own a dog back in the simulation if you want to peg him as a dog lover? Show don't tell. First rule of writing.

Why didn't I think of that? Eh, what is done is done, next time.

Sweet Christ, how high are maple's endurance and strength stats?

8 and 7


My first running commentary, yay

Is you 10mm or 9mm?

As with all Vault/Stable weapons 10mm.

Also, it hammers home that I really really should play NV before I start writing. I have no clue what a companion perk is, except that I'm pretty sure it exists in NV.
Also, "New Spell added" was really nice, and I'll be stealing it kthxbay. xD

Come back here with my perks ye thevin varmints. I jest. Be my guest.

The only problem I have is the general annoyance that you use the american units instead of the standard metric ones; for example feet (or "hooves" as it were) and something that must be Fahrenheit. 82 degrees would be closer to boiling than freezing in Celcius xD
But again, that annoys me whenever anyone uses it xD Mostly because I can't figure out what degrees in celcius you're talking about. I presume 82 degrees is cold?

82 F=28 C. Hypothermia is generally fatal at 20 C, the record for survival is 17 C. (1 C is ruffly 2 F)

Also, I must comment that Ochre went insane much quicker than anyone else I have read about. "Insane" as in having voices in his head.

Some ponies take being Neo better than others.

Nice ending scene, that's for sure xD
This is currently labeled as "Rank 4 headcanon" for the moment, which is the lowest headcanon I have. But still above anything noncanon, eh?
Besides, if this goes on long enough (with no drop in quality) it might jump up a rank to Rank 3, which is equal to Pink Eyes. =D

I am honored that it is even in the running.

Now there is just one problem. More? xD

Next Sunday for you folk, Monday for everypony else.

Thank you both for the feedback.

[The Jack]

The only problem I have is the general annoyance that you use the american units instead of the standard metric ones; for example feet (or "hooves" as it were) and something that must be Fahrenheit. 82 degrees would be closer to boiling than freezing in Celcius xD
But again, that annoys me whenever anyone uses it xD Mostly because I can't figure out what degrees in celcius you're talking about. I presume 82 degrees is cold?

82 F=28 C. Hypothermia is generally fatal at 20 C, the record for survival is 17 C. (1 C is ruffly 2 F)

Nice ending scene, that's for sure xD
This is currently labeled as "Rank 4 headcanon" for the moment, which is the lowest headcanon I have. But still above anything noncanon, eh?
Besides, if this goes on long enough (with no drop in quality) it might jump up a rank to Rank 3, which is equal to Pink Eyes. =D

I am honored that it is even in the running.

Now there is just one problem. More? xD

Next Sunday for you folk, Monday for everypony else.

Thank you both for the feedback.

Next sunday? Sweet! That should coincide roughly with PH and Fo:E too, if I remember correctly. Damn, I'm going to be busy this weekend. xD

*whistles*
28 degrees C? Damn that's cold. Some 10 degrees colder than normal body temp (for humans. Horses technically have a somewhat higher temp, if I remember correctly). 2F can't be equal (even roughly) to 1C though. 82/2=41, some 13 degrees above the intended target. That's a lot. xD

Oh, and just for reference of the Headcanon;
Rank 1 is reserved for Fo:E and ("in-universe" to my own stories) my own story.
Rank 2 is currently only populated by PH; it's pretty much considered canon in every aspect, except when it contradicts rank 1, in which case rank 1 will win.
Rank 3 is Pink Eyes, and is pretty much reserved for fics which I haven't quite decided deserve the rank 2 designation yet; that may be due to a lack of material (I.E; too short) or due to lacking that je ne sais pas.
Rank 4 is "up and coming" fics; those that are way too short to judge properly, but seem promising. From here, it can either be promoted to rank 3 if it maintains a high quality through a lot more chapters, or it can sink down to non-ranked again.
Non-ranked; not considered canon in any way.

I'm weird this way; I like organizing stuff like this xD

[Kashin]

Next sunday? Sweet! That should coincide roughly with PH and Fo:E too, if I remember correctly. Damn, I'm going to be busy this weekend. xD

You and me both, that's the day I do all the reformatting for FMI fiction and DA as well as start actual production on NWWW. Though I will aspire to release chapter 3 at a reasonable hour

*whistles*
28 degrees C? Damn that's cold. Some 10 degrees colder than normal body temp (for humans. Horses technically have a somewhat higher temp, if I remember correctly). 2F can't be equal (even roughly) to 1C though. 82/2=41, some 13 degrees above the intended target. That's a lot. xD

sorry I didn't clarify on that, F and C have different 0 values, check wiki.

Oh, and just for reference of the Headcanon;
Rank 1 is reserved for Fo:E and ("in-universe" to my own stories) my own story.
Rank 2 is currently only populated by PH; it's pretty much considered canon in every aspect, except when it contradicts rank 1, in which case rank 1 will win.
Rank 3 is Pink Eyes, and is pretty much reserved for fics which I haven't quite decided deserve the rank 2 designation yet; that may be due to a lack of material (I.E; too short) or due to lacking that je ne sais pas.
Rank 4 is "up and coming" fics; those that are way too short to judge properly, but seem promising. From here, it can either be promoted to rank 3 if it maintains a high quality through a lot more chapters, or it can sink down to non-ranked again.
Non-ranked; not considered canon in any way.

I'm weird this way; I like organizing stuff like this xD

there is a little twilight in everyone

[The Jack]

there is a little twilight in everyone

More than a little in my case; Twilight is sometimes disturbingly similar to my own personality. xD

[Imperiumofman]

If its good it's canon, if it's shit its not. That's how I organize it. Some people worry too much about canon and not enough about writing a good story anyway. Twilight is funny when she suffers mental breakdowns.