Proofreading / help needed

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Turbo740
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:04 am
Location: Equestria

Proofreading / help needed

Post by Turbo740 » Mon Feb 06, 2012 8:54 am

I've just finished chapter 3 but i need help making it better somehow. It has an Ok storyline, but i'm not that good with describing/ setting the scene, can anyone help me out by making it more exciting?
Here's the link if you want to edit it
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lgm ... b8k2w/edit
The equestrian wasteland is total freedom, but with that freedom there's a burden you must carry for the rest of your life. You have to be strong, face your fears and fight for your freedom, because if you don't, the wasteland will tear you apart.
One way or another.

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