Fallout Equestria: Operation Flankorage

[Kashin]

More than a little in my case; Twilight is sometimes disturbingly similar to my own personality. xD

... Twilight Sparkle likes my story, sweet.

[The Jack]

More than a little in my case; Twilight is sometimes disturbingly similar to my own personality. xD

... Twilight Sparkle likes my story, sweet.

Best reaction ever xD
Totally unexpected too xD

[Kashin]

updated, the doc its self is commentable until tomorrow morning, But that is for any grammar and spelling mistakes folk might find.

[Imperiumofman]

Now that the laughter has died down let there be feedback.

THINGS IMPERIUM LIKED.

- Are you updating that opening image with each chapter?

-good sneaking and fight scenes going on.

-That song and it's singer earned a howl of laughter or two from yours truly. You dirty minded man you.

- That's one liners hardly hasta la vista but that will do pony, that will do.

- Maple's a real problem solver isn't she? Also yay character backstory and development.

THINGS IMPERIUM THOUGHT WERE A BIT OFF.

-How did bullion know what dynamite was?

-I care very little for the status of any pony's nether regions

-Lot crammed into a small space near the end of the chapter eh?

Overall I'm hooked and looking forward to the next chapter.

[Kashin]

Now that the laughter has died down let there be feedback.

First of all, thank you very much for the feedback.

- Are you updating that opening image with each chapter?

Yes, they will change to show how the characters looked at the end of the last chapter.

-That song and it's singer earned a howl of laughter or two from yours truly. You dirty minded man you.

While I would love to take credit for it, I am muscly impaired so I just ponified a drinking song from wiki.

-How did bullion know what dynamite was?

He has a pre-war education and dynamite is primarily used for construction, not warfare so it wouldn't be censored material.

[The Jack]

Woho! Update!
Time for a running commentary again! xD

First off; some critique on the following sentence;
"...and somepony, no; I don't kill ponies, somebody using one of the bathrooms."
IMO, this is kind of a bad sentence. Took me a few seconds to decipher what it meant. I think it could be formulated to flow better; to not interrupt the story in the way it did.
May I suggest something like; "...and somepony using the bathroom. No, make that "somebody". I didn't kill ponies."
Eh?

Eh, yeah, most of the running commentary was on the chat with Kashin on the gdoc, so the rest of you won't get to read all of that xD
I must mention though, that "PipSpike" seems intruiging. I wonder what it is...

[Kashin]

and chapter 4 is up for peer review, the doc its self will be commentable for the next 24 hours

[Imperiumofman]

Damn it I can't wait for the next chapter now.

THINGS IMPERIUM LIKED.

-Debts and the settlement of said debts appear to be a theme.

-Bullion has a solid moral compass and is pretty smart as well.

-echo feels like the most unique Pegasus I've seen yet. Looking forward to learning more about her.

-Maple being a turtle and her usage of combat drugs was pretty awesome.

-Cool fight climax.

-Maples is best earth pony so far.

THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE.

- next chapter isn't out now.

In all seriousness I'm struggling to come up with anything I think is objectively wrong with this chapter really. Sorry I can't give any feed back on that front.

[The Jack]

In all seriousness I'm struggling to come up with anything I think is objectively wrong with this chapter really. Sorry I can't give any feed back on that front.

Isn't that a good thing?

[Kashin]

Damn it I can't wait for the next chapter now.

two weeks, 7 pages out of 24 planed so far

-Debts and the settlement of said debts appear to be a theme.

"nothing is free"

-echo feels like the most unique Pegasus I've seen yet. Looking forward to learning more about her.

just curious, why? (not complaining, but if I know why she seemed to become the favorite pony of 3/4 of my per-readers I can continue those trends.)

-Maple being a turtle and her usage of combat drugs was pretty awesome.

I figured it was time for a character who used chems and wasn't an addict.

-Cool fight climax.

thank you, oddly enough, some folk seemed to think Sandstone got a grenade enema.

-Maples is best earth pony so far.

Yet again, why? (I am a new writer and seek to soak up as much feedback as I can.)

THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE.

- next chapter isn't out now.

In all seriousness I'm struggling to come up with anything I think is objectively wrong with this chapter really. Sorry I can't give any feed back on that front.

While lacking in constructive criticism this is a massive ego boost to read.