Because I have too much time on my hooves.
EQUESTRIAN RADIO
I feel a hot wind on my shoulder
A touch of hellfire, the world gets colder
I turn the switch and check the number
I leave it on in the shack where I slumber
I hear the rhythms of the music
I "Fight the good fight" and never lose it
I hear the talking of the DJ
The static's bad, just what does she say?
"I'm on Equestrian radio. I'm on Equestrian - whoa-oh - Radio"
I dial it in and tune the station
They talk about the danger of radiation
I understand, just a little
"Drink your Rad-Away" ain't no riddle
"I'm on Equestrian Radio. I'm on Equestrian - whoa-oh - Radio
I'm on Equestrian Radio. I'm on Equestrian - whoa-oh - Radio"
DJ TALK: "Weather forecast today: Heavy rains, with a 90% chance of Raider activity. Don't go outside without a slicker and some decent armor!"
I wish I was in New Appleoosa
Get my neck outta this-a-here noose-a
I'd take the sun in, and never roam
A-get me outta this Wasteland zone
I catch a signal, on my PipBuck
I dial it in, it seems I might be in luck
I hear the talking of the DJ
The static's bad, just what does she say?
"I'm on Equestrian Radio. I'm on Equestrian - whoa-oh - Radio
I'm on Equestrian Radio. I'm on Equestrian - whoa-oh - Radio"
Radio radio... Radio radio... Radio radio...
"I'm on Equestrian Radio. I'm on Equestrian - whoa-oh - Radio
I'm on Equestrian Radio. I'm on Equestrian - whoa-oh - Radio"
Radio radio... What does she say ?
DJ TALK: "Keep your weapons cocked and locked at all times, my little ponies. And make sure to invest in a little maintenance time, 'cause rusty guns ain't no fun! Here's the latest news about our Wasteland Heroine, the Stable Dweller, just in from Arbu..."
(FADES OUT)
SOARIN' THE HEADLESS PLASMA GUNNER
Soarin' was a Pegasus from the land of the clouded sun
Just a Wonderbolt for hire, with fighting to be done
The treaty talks were ended, on a dark and stormy day
So he flew out to Manehattan, to join the bloody fray
For three long years they struggled, to fight the Zebra War
With their teeth around their triggers, wing-deep in gore
Across the sky they battled the Griffons to their knees
They killed to earn their living, and to fuel up the factories.
Soarin', the Plasma Gunner
Soarin', the Plasma Gunner
His wing-mates fought beside him, Spitfire and the rest
But of all the Plasma Gunners, Soarin' was the best
So the O.I.A. decided they wanted Soarin' dead
And a brainwashed pony sniper, blew off Soarin's head.
Soarin', the Headless Plasma Gunner, Cloudsdayle's bravest son
You can still see his headless body soaring through the night
In the orange flash of Soarin's plasma gun
In the orange flash of Soarin's plasma gun
Soarin' searched the continent for the bucks who done him in
He found 'em down in Baltimare, in a bar-room drinkin' gin
So Soarin' aimed his Plasma Gun and didn't say a word
The shriek of burning plasma, was the last they ever heard.
Soarin', the Headless Plasma Gunner
Soarin', the Headless Plasma Gunner
Soarin', the Headless Plasma Gunner
Talkin' about the stal-yun
Soarin', the Headless Plasma Gunner
That eternal Plasma Gunner keeps on wand'rin' through the night
And centuries on later, he still keeps up the fight
In Canterlot, in Ponyville, in Hoofington and Filly...
That Griffon, Stern, felt the burn, of Soarin's Plasma Gun
And bought it...