Fallout Equestria: Equestria's Dead

[jinger]

Hey there, this is a Fallout Equestria side story written by a friend of mine that he asked me to put up here. It's his first real story, so feedback is appreciated, as would be letting me know of any errors with the doc.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Summary: Driven from his home by unknown abominations, Punchclock is left for dead in the northern reaches of the Equestrian Wasteland. There he must brave horrible enemies, radioactive snow, and hold on to what it means to be a pony.

Author: terk.esh.delight

Hope you enjoy.

[Arcane_Scroll]

Added to the story section, thanks! I'll try to read it soon and will give feedback then.

[jinger]

Updated with Chapter 2, all feedback encouraged and welcome.

[PinkPutty]

Hey dude, I read the 2 chapters last night and I did like the story, but there are some problems with it. Clockpunch seemed somewhat... bland I guess. Now, this is probably because there's only been 2 chapters, and comparing Punch to Security, Pip, and Puppy is very unfair. However, so far he's been simply reactionary, and said reactions haven't really said anything significant about Clockpunch. Not saying there hasn't been any development at all, he received training as a ranger and is loyal to his Dad, but that by itself isn't saying a whole lot. I also suggest getting an editor or proofreader to help clean up the grammar, there were some errors but nothing gigantic.

Overall though, I am liking the story. The character background is original and the Skaab dudes are really interesting. Eagerly awaiting more bro!

[jinger]

Hey dude, I read the 2 chapters last night and I did like the story, but there are some problems with it. Clockpunch seemed somewhat... bland I guess. Now, this is probably because there's only been 2 chapters, and comparing Punch to Security, Pip, and Puppy is very unfair. However, so far he's been simply reactionary, and said reactions haven't really said anything significant about Clockpunch. Not saying there hasn't been any development at all, he received training as a ranger and is loyal to his Dad, but that by itself isn't saying a whole lot. I also suggest getting an editor or proofreader to help clean up the grammar, there were some errors but nothing gigantic.

Overall though, I am liking the story. The character background is original and the Skaab dudes are really interesting. Eagerly awaiting more bro!

Hey, thanks for the feedback!

I actually AM the proofreader, and a friend of mine who's too lazy to post the story himself is the writer. When you read the next chapter, it would be great if you could point out some specific grammatical errors so I can see what you're talking about.

We'll try to get the next chapter out in a timely manner. Thanks for reading!

[PinkPutty]

Ah, alrighty then. I'll be sure to get some specific examples when I get the chance. I'm on the road right now and using my phone as a browser, else I'd be posting those examples now lol.

[jinger]

Chapter 3 is up after a long writing period filled with dying computers and rewrites. All feedback is encouraged. Heck, even acknowledging that you've read even some of the story so far would be great.

[jinger]

Chapter 4 complete and up. Feedback still encouraged. Feel free to say hi if you've read any of it so far.

[Arcane_Scroll]

Hi,

Do you think you could provide a chapter index page for the stories? There's a template here if it helps. The new rules for the side stories update post on EqD require one for loose GDocs chapters if they are to be listed in the updates post.

[jinger]

Hi,

Do you think you could provide a chapter index page for the stories? There's a template here if it helps. The new rules for the side stories update post on EqD require one for loose GDocs chapters if they are to be listed in the updates post.

Sounds good, I'll get on that soon.