Fallout Equestria: The Longest Road

[Artemiev]

Now that I finished modeling the main character, and finished the prologue, I think I'm ready to submit this story here...

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m95 ... l=hu&pli=1

Here's the main character, Argus.



He's kinda cynical: Actually, he's a jerk sometimes... or, pretty much always, but, you'll see =P.

PS: Yeah, I really got hooked up on the Lonesome Road DLC. But the story isn't anything like that, except that Argus is a courier on a delivery himself.

[Artemiev]

Chapter 1 finished!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Zpf ... edit?hl=hu

PS: I told you he's a jerk sometimes =P.

[Nightmare Luna]

Will have a read of this sometime!

[Artemiev]

While writing, I doodled with the pony generator some of the characters of the fic.

Argus:



Innocence:



Mischief:



Mother:



Hopefully I'll finish chapter 2 tomorrow...
PS: By the way, I'm looking for someone for a cover art ^^".
PS 2: Er, have anyone actually read this anyways?

[mimezinga]

i'm going to read it, but i'm a slow reader and before i have to finish reading broken steel, but it's short

[mimezinga]

Okay, done reading it

The start with the experienced character is interesting and I like the third person for a change, still I can see some issues, like ythe tenses that slip to the present in the middle of some sentences and little else, like a hand-made in place of a hoof-made and a place in chapter one where you change the speaker voice inside the same paragraph, they are all easily fixable things anyhow; we'll see where this story is going, I'm quite curious ^_^

Sorry if I'm not more specific but being ESL I can't really talk about the language besides the things I pointed out ç_ç

[Artemiev]

Chapter 2 uploaded, yayz, finally.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1auq ... edit?hl=hu

[Artemiev]

Since Chapter 45 nuked the whole plot of the story, this poor sod is bailing out... pfft.